Woke up to snow in Houston this morning. Up north, no one cares, but it’s a hell of an event when it happens here.  Unfortunately, school wasn’t cancelled. It takes ice on the roads to make that happen. Houstonians know how to ferry neighbors to safety during catastrophic flooding, but can’t drive on ice for shit. Icy roads and sidewalks are to Houstonians what a cold bath is to a cat. Lots of flailing, uncontrollable spinning, and running in place prior to an inevitable nosedive.

I’ve seen real snow before. Not tunnel out of the house with a spoon snow, but suitable for skiing and such. there’s nothing as beautiful when it’s sparkly and pristine, but it quickly turns to a brown slush that’s as ugly to look at as it is to walk on. And I don’t care what that Yeti in Monsters, Inc. says, yellow snow is not lemon flavored. And shoveling it? No thank you. Texans shovel bullshit, not frozen precipitation. My kids don’t know that kind of snow, yet.

My youngest was in the yard before sunrise, scraping it off our trash cans and cars, compressing balls no bigger than eggs to hurl at his brother. His brother didn’t fall for it, but I got one that would have been right between the eyes had it not exploded on my windshield first. To be fair, I might have started it. We soon arrived at school to dodge 1,500 students in frosty combat around the perimeter of the campus. I’ll take that to fists and hair pulling any day.

It’s already ebbing away, but it was fun while it lasted.